Cosmetic Withdrawal

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo!

Day #28 The clock strikes midnight, and I step into the shower. Like Cinderella, I transform. From that first glorious drop of Goldwell Shampoo I know there is no going back to homemade. Ever. I practically inhale the stuff. As I lather (repeatedly), it takes all my self-constraint to eschew a selfie in the shower. […]

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Almost Normal

Day #25 I wake in a cold sweat, shaking off images of Goldwell, Rusk and Kerastasse, trailed by Lancome, Yonka and Dermalogica. All night, they parade past me like a marching band. Two more days! Little C crawls into bed and cuddles up, par for the course at 6:00 am. This morning I have something exciting to […]

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I Came, I Saw, I Conquered

Day #23 The great skin care disaster of excessive oil use, lack of moisture, too many facial masks and total pimple anarchy needs to be reigned in. The Romans washed by rubbing olive oil on themselves and scraping it off with a strigil. But, my body is not the problem: my homemade scrubs and butters have left me tinged […]

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Houston, We Have a Problem

Day #20 I am three weeks into my 27-day challenge of Cosmetic Withdrawal. My mom thinks I broke my face. “I’m worried about your skin,” she declares over speakerphone. I’m in the van, having just dropped off the kids at school. “Ma, it’s okay.” I glance in the rearview mirror. Well, maybe not totally spot […]

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I’ll Show You Mine . . .

Day #18 I’ve developed a really creepy habit of staring at people’s heads. It doesn’t matter who I’m talking to. I could be having a sit-down with Donald Trump. Despite all the crazy garbage that comes out of his mouth, I would be green-eyed gaga over that toupée. I am obsessed. Everywhere I look, I see feathery, shiny tresses– and […]

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Losing Streak

Day #16 I give Little C a bath. We’re working on the don’t-urinate-in the-tub project. My daughter refuses to bathe with him, though I am sure her skin is so urea-fortified after the last four years of sharing his bath, it wouldn’t matter. The minute he sits down in the bathtub I know. “Buddy, did […]

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Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah

Day 14 6:45 am: Wake up exhausted. Dr. K says he’s never seen me stay up past 1:00 am this many nights in a row. I am passionate about the blog — or totally off my rocker. Either way, I’m going to crash soon. Wait-ing game. 7:06 am: I snoozed. Twice. I sweep a brush […]

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Trial By Ordeal

Day #11 By the morning after the Coors Light debacle I had washed my hair twice. “Maybe you should have used a Guinness,“ offers my dad when I meet him for breakfast. He has a point. Coors Light is kind of the dishwater of beers. I shrug noncommittally as I eat my eggs. They taste […]

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It’s All About Time Management

Day #10 Let’s just say it’s a beer-battered, coconut-shrimp kind of day. 8:03 am: My fading brunette locks are coated in a film of yuck. I read about milk and honey shampoo at 9 DIY Natural Shampoos. If two tbsp honey and ¼ cup milk are good enough for the Queen of Egypt…. Hmm, conditioner? I scan the […]

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Manic Monday

Day #7 Dear Readers, Thanks for your support in the launch of www.my27days.com. Today’s entry  is short but sweet as I play catchup at home. This week has been exhausting and exhilarating. I am dried out, tired out and running out of homemade cosmetics.  But, I have learned a lot: The average human head has […]

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What the %#@*?

Day #6 (Warning: today’s blog contains language that may not be suitable for younger readers.) Two nights ago I went to bed with a plan. I would make soap. Real soap. The kind you buy at county fairs from throw-back hippies, in long floral skirts, with frizzy curls, beaded necklaces and too much blue eyeliner. […]

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Plan B

Day #5 The morning rush. My hair looks like a heap of hay. Stringy doesn’t even begin to describe it. The plan to let it “dry out” overnight doesn’t really work. I don’t think congealed oil “dries out.” Neither does it absorb. Shit, I’m late already. Kids start school at 8:15 am, it’s a 5-minute […]

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Entangled

Day #4 In my past life I worked in the magazine industry as a freelance writer, interviewing experts and publishing gripping articles like Five Tips to Amazing Nails and Ten Steps to Your Healthiest Summer Ever. I traipsed through fields of chamomile in France, discovering the secrets of farm-to-face skincare. As a regular contributor to a Canadian […]

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Beautiful Disaster

Day #3 So, about last night. Don’t ever make your own cosmetics after 9:15pm. What began as a quest to make a usable cleanser and moisture mask turned into a full-on science lab, albeit a sloppy, inaccurate one. I ain’t no Marie Curie. To sum it up, I successfully made: lavender sugar scrub oatmeal honey […]

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Retreat?

Day #2 I wake up to my vow of cosmetic celibacy. What the hell was I thinking? After throwing on a robe and shuffling downstairs, being careful to not breathe dragon breath on my kids and husband, I discover that the baking soda I planned to use as toothpaste expired in February 2013. I squint to make […]

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I’m Not a Junkie

Day #1 I am not a junkie. Not even close. Judging by my medicine cabinet I put my number somewhere in the 60s. Cleansers, toners, moisturizers, serums, foot cream, hand cream, body cream, undereye lotions…. But I am pushing 44, and  I rotate. Cosmetics can get a little dull when it’s the same thing day in […]

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